(Identity in Christ)

If I'm completely honest, I've had a difficult time remembering to read the identity statements we've been given morning and night, but this hasn't stopped me from continually being reminded of who I am in Christ. Due to alot of pain and broken relationships, I've had to learn the hard way that identity in Christ is essential in order to function in day to day life in health. Therefore, the past year or two has been a very long, difficult process continually discovering that He must be on the throne of my heart. 

When this topic was posed, it didn't take long for me to hear exactly what to write down, 

"Unhealthy need for people in my life"

So much work has occurred in my heart over the past couple years bringing me closer to a state of identity in Christ. Yet, throughout the process, I still find myself needing to feel validated by my social life and the people I surround myself with. 

Example:

"I am so excited to spend this afternoon in the presence of God, dwelling in His goodness. Before I do this, though, let me text Jeremiah and see if he wants to play basketball tonight." 

This process I feel is ingrained in me, but I believe it can be removed.

Here's another one:

"Here I am, sitting on this couch. All my roommates are out tonight. I have no plans. (This quickly turns into) "Oh my gosh, I don't have any friends, I'm a loser." (etc) Obviously, this isn't true. Let's be honest, too. I know it's not true. Yet, when my identity centers around people, when people aren't coming through, things start to get shaky.

Life verse pause: "I have set the Lord always before me, because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken." (Psalm 16:8) Anyway, 

Recently, I was given the opportunity to move into a one bedroom apartment a block and a half away from the church. At first, this idea scared me. "I'm extroverted. I need to be around people all the time." While I am extroverted and am created to be in relationship with humans, these above statements scream, "My identity will be shaken if I live alone." Though my main reason for moving is to be close to the church, my work, and my school, I'm sure this move will prove to be a place in which God will continue to speak into my identity- which is found in in Him. In the times when nothing is going on, when I have no plans, I can choose to dwell on the lies and let them grow, or I can continue to seek out the God of all creation who has called me out and loves me deeply. Imagine the growth that could happen in this time! Imagine how God could speak. 

I don't exactly know what else to say, but I do know for sure that I want my identity to be centered in Christ. I know that this will look comfort in being alone. Of course, I need people in my life. Community is in my DNA. What having an identity centered in Christ would mean would be a deep dependence on God in all situations, and a love for people that is actually healthy- and imagine how much better I could love people!